The Expendables 2 Review

The Expendables 2 Review

The Expendables 2 poster

In this post I'm going to try and review The Expendables 2 film, I used the phrase "try and review" because it was difficult movie to watch. I don't say that because of the excessive blood and gore scenes (those I liked). 

The Expendables 2 trailer :

 

I have to state that the Expendables 1 and 2 movies weren't that great but they were something more than regular movies. 
The Expendables gathered most of my childhood action stars: Arnold, Stallone, Dolf, Van Damme and Bruce Willis. I wasn't a big fan of Chuck Norris but he’s place is there with the rest of them no doubt about it. Even Eric Roberts earned the right to be there with the rest of the guys because of his role in "The best from the best". I learned to like Jason Statum and Jet Li and they are considered as great action stars as well. Gary Daniels and Scott Adkins bring the rear in this list of action stars as the semi bosses in both movies although they deserved a lot more screen time than Terry Crews and Randy Couture. 
I somehow understand why Randy Couture was in the movies (MMA) it doesn't say I agree with it, what I don't understand why Terry Crews was there and why did he receive such a role. All the other guys I wanted to see, Couture and Crews just been there wasting space.

The only guys that were missing from this bunch are Steven Seagal and Wesley Snipes. On other thought seeing Steven Seagal’s last couple of films its good thing he wasn't there I’m sorry that I have to say that but Steven Seagal just let himself go ... too much. Maybe that is why he’s movies are just not bearable to watch ... even for me, and I like the guy.

The good stuff 

 

The only few positive things about this movie were - 

• Like i mentioned in the beginning seeing all my favorite action stars in one movie.
• The jokes - I loved the part where they played on the Chuck Norris facts, or when Arnold and Bruce Willis used each other’s catch phrases.
• The Blood and Gore scenes were nice I remember the same type of scenes in Rambo 4. 

The bad stuff 

 

If you ignore those few facts and focus on the movie itself ... it was horrible. Compared to this Expendables 1 was a masterpiece.

• The plot was so weak that I don't remember when was the last time I suffered so much during an action movie (OK I remember it was one of  Steven Seagal's last movies, don't remember which they all looked horribly the same). Even the endless trails of body’s didn't manage to soften the blow of the ridicules plot.

•  Where did Jet Li go? He was there in the opening scene, helping to kill about 100 Thai soldiers (if not more) and then he just parachuted away. I didn't get that or I missed something out on. This movie was so bad that I don't even want to watch that parachute scene again to figure out where did Jet Li disappeared to.
•  Terry Crews and Randy Couture.

•  The Van Damme gang had the worst tattoo ever seen in a movie theater. It’s like a 4 year old drew it for them. They could have been a lot more creative with that, especially when Stallone's gang symbol is a skull.
• Van Damme didn't deliver in this movie. I thought that it was his big chance getting back and talking part in a big Hollywood movie again but the entire thing just flopped. Maybe not all the blame was on Van Damme because there were so many guys in there and there was not enough time for everyone to showcase their skills but Van Damme was the main villain. He should have gotten more screen time. If they would have showcased more of Van Damme it could have helped the plot (I’m not saying that because I like Van Damme more than the rest, the fact is that it was necessary to develop his character and develop the plot) but they chose to waste time on Crews, Couture and the Chinese chick that I didn't know what was her purpose in the movie, as a result we get a sucky plot and a very sucky movie.
• The final fight scenes were not good enough, each and its own reasons.
• Statum Vs. Adkins -This was too short, and I don’t say that just like that for no reason. Those two guys are not old like the rest of the actors in the movie. If you have seen any of Scott Adkins movies you know what the guy can do with his legs. Jason Statum doesn't need any introductions. For some reason their fight scene was not good, Statum didn't bring his intensity which he generally brings and Scott Adkins didn’t receive the opportunity to shine and show what he can really do. The time they were given was not enough and it was the main reason why the fight scene was not as good as it could have been. 
• Stallone Vs. Van Damme - Stallone is ~ 70 years old and it is understandable that he is limited in his movements, Van Damme is no kid either but he can still give a decent fight scene. The fight was very short and one sided. I blinked and the fight ended. The end was so anticlimactic. When it ended I was thinking to myself ... is that it? Why? We waited the entire movie for that? I know that egos played part here but when you know that you cannot get a good finale from Stallone why not compensate and give more time to the fight scene between Statum and Adkins?

 

Expendables Summery

 

This movie is for people who grew up watching the action movies of the 80's and the 90's. People who are attached to those actors are the only ones that can survive this movie and somehow enjoy it. I’m afraid that everyone else wouldn't be able to enjoy this.

photo credit: Stephen Nesbit via photopin cc

Tweet

About Sasha Shapiro

Sasha is the founder and editor of Cool Reviews Rule. He is very passionate about Movies, TV Shows and some Books. His favorite genres are: Action, Fantasy, History, Horror, Sci-fi and Adventure.
Follow him on:

Follow @sasha_shapiro